Monday morning I have a class on campus. I also have to put in 30 hours of classroom fieldwork for this same class. Rather than leave my little ones more than once a week, I have arranged to have them spend all of Monday morning in a day care while I go to school. It's only one day a week for four hours. Plus I'm doing my classroom hours at the older kids school so I get to spend some time with them. That's double, right?
So, Monday morning I loaded all the kids into the car to head off to school. I put my sunglasses on because it's really bright at 7:30 in the morning,depending on which way you are driving, which was into the sun. Zach was in the front seat next to me. He looked over at me and asked, "Mom, why are tears running down your face?" I just smiled at him. The kids in the back overheard some of what he said so they asked him what was going on. I motioned the finger to my lips "Shh" sign. He got it and just said, "Mom's just having a hard time being a mom today." I was.
I left my two little ones kicking and screaming, as I ran out the door of the day care. I kept thinking, "Is this worth it?"
I loved my time in the classrooms and my class is always enjoyable.
Four hours later I returned to pick up my little ones. Henry was asleep and Kate met me at the door with her backpack on and her preschool papers in her hand. She was out of there! I brought them home and laid Henry in his bed. He slept for 3 more hours. I listened to him sniffle the entire time. Kate told me all about how she didn't like following rules and how they made her stay with her class and she just wanted to check on her baby brother. Then she grabbed her cat and said she needed to spend some time with her baby brother. She climbed up next to him and I told her to be quiet and not wake him up. A few minutes later this is what I found.
In defense of the day care: It is a day care run by Ken's aunt and his cousins wife teaches the preschool class. We know them very well. His aunt has allowed me to bring Kate and Henry over to do some volunteer hours with her kids so they have been there before. They are in good hands. It's just new to us and hard to leave. I really like just staying home and being a full time mom. I have been spoiled!
9 comments:
It is hard. I have been taking LM to some form of daycare from the time she was born. And there are some places she still cries when I drop her off. Even when it is someone that she knows and she is safe and been there many times. Occasionally, she still cries when I drop her off at Mim's. Crazy, I know.
NJ on the other hand is off and running and rarely, if ever, cries or says good bye, and I have worked less since he was born, so less daycare.
At different times in my life I have enjoyed staying at home with my kids 24-7, but I also have loved my career. I knew that when CJ and I were going to school and the career paths that we chose, that I would have to work to some degree in order for us to have what we needed (and somethings that we want, not a boat or stuff like that).
We all do what we have to do. And I honestly think that it is good for kids to "get out" too. So it may be hard, but they are in qualified and loving hands! They will adjust and they will do well once they get used to the routine.
Go and enjoy your time. It is so short and well deserved. It is okay to put yourself first sometimes. (Something that Mim and CJ remind me of all the time!)
p.s. Sorry this is so long for "Wordless Wednesday", but I do love that picture!
Being a mom is so hard. That is the sweetest picture!
You are a good mom and I can tell that your children love eachother dearly. She probably wore herself out worrying about him. I can tell that you are torn between your children and school. I would feel the same. You are doing a great job!!! I know it will get better.
I think it is great that you are going to school! I know what you mean about day care. I had to put Lauren in Preschool a few days a week so I could work when I was single. It was horrible at first. She would cry when I dropped her off and then I would cry the rest of the way to work. It didn't take long before she loved "going to school."
I think the picture is so precious!
Beautiful picture, Laurie. You really should frame it. I'll make you vinyl to go on the wall by it. I am sorry, I know that dropping your kids off at day care must have been hard. I would have reacted the same way. I love Zach's comment. What a sweetheart!
You are so good at putting feelings into words! I was expecting to be overwhelmed with the feeling of responsibility when I became a parent- but i never knew there'd be such... what's the word... HEARTSTRINGS as well! There's so much emotion that comes along with motherhood! For the good, though. For the good. Love the pic!
Precious picture. I worked for the first 9 years of our marriage, so both E and J were in daycare from the age of 3 months until about age 6. It was hard to leave them at times, but knowing they were in a good place really helped.
They're certainly not scarred at all from the experience either.
Precious! How sweet of her to want to check up on him!
Wow! Lauri, you are awesome!! What a tender picture!!
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