Social Class

Yesterday, I helped out in Justyn's class. It was their end-of-the-year party. I was in charge of teaching the kids how to make homemade bead necklaces. Have you ever tried to home make beads and have them dried (no fair cooking them) and strung in 30 minutes? I tried several recipes and I struck out. We finally did salt dough and just let them air dry all day. Then they got rained on and all thrown away. Oh well, the kids loved getting sticky and dirty and creating with the dough.

So, on to my thoughts. These students argued with each other so much. They were mean and cutting to each other. I can't tell you how many hurt feelings and sad faces I saw in the 2 hours I was there. At one point, I actually told the kids to stop. They said this was normal. I told them that they fight worse then brothers and sisters do and that they needed to look around and realize the damage that they were doing to each other. They didn't get it.

Justyn told me last night that he is no longer friends with a girl that has been his closest friend this entire school year. Having just experienced the attitude of this class, this comment did not surprise me. I asked him why not. He said that she told him 'she was A class and he was D class and so they could no longer associate with each other. It was too damaging to her social image.' He said he told her they were 4th graders and that she was being silly. She didn't agree. She has to look out for herself and for her future and so no matter how well they get along or what their past relationship has been, they can no longer be friends. I was surprised and kind of dumbfounded at this point. I asked where she could have gotten such an idea from. He said she read it in a book.

What do you tell your child at this point? My first response was to tell him she was mean and cruel and that she was D class, not him and to stay away from her! Who needs her anyways. Then I rethought my response and decided to handle this like a mature mother and not a spoiled, hurt child. Instead, we talked about why people tear others down. That usually it means they are insecure with something about themselves and that while I don't think he has to put up with being treated that way, I expect him to still be kind. If he looks around him, he will probably find that others are being treated the same way and that maybe, if he befriends them, he will find out that they are pretty cool also, just like he is. We decided that he can prove he's "Class A" by not returning her cruelty.

I've often thought about social classes. I've never thought of myself as "Class D" but never "Class A" either. Probably "B" or "C". As I teach my children, I am slowly seeing things differently. While I like the idea of high-society, is it worth the cost? If "A" means that you have to shun others and put others down in order to lift yourself up, then I would rather not be apart of that. And why can't we classify each other based on good works and kindness rather than money and clout. I want my children to grow up respecting themselves and the world around them. I want them to find happiness in serving and in making their world better and more beautiful because they were in it and not in cutting and tearing others down. Why do we have to be so hard on each other? I know, they are only 10 years old. They are still kids. But seriously, is this too much to expect? And am I doing enough to lead my children by example? At this point, probably "Class D" is about right.

My only thought at this point is, I'm so glad that summer break is two days away!

Wordless Wednesday....

We are Family! Get up everybody and sing!

I had the best weekend! I got to hang out with all my favorite people.

Look!

My Mom and Dad!

My sister Venita and her husband Jeph!

My sister Lynnette and her husband Neal and their kids, Sarah (in picture) Adam, and Isaac!

My sister Melanie and her husband Tom and their two children Brogan and Ashlyn!

My brother Brian and his wife Cali and their children Klayton (in picture) and McKynli!

My baby sister Chanae! She's single! :)

My baby brother David! He's not! ;)

And my sister Deborah and her husband Joel and their children, Ellie (in picture), Tanner, Hayden and Devin.

I did not get to see my sister Kami because she is on an LDS mission in the Phillippines and I missed seeing my brother Spencer and his wife Becca and their children Taylor, Andrew, Erica and Emily by only a few minutes. Bummer! Maybe next time.

We also got to hang out with Ken's sister Julie and her husband Mark and their kids Riley, Whitley and Alisa.

Best of all, I got to hang out all weekend with these crazy kids.

And my most favorite person of all, Ken!

And now I'm really, really tired!
Happy Memorial Day!

P.S.
Since Kami's mission blog is private, I thought I'd share some pictures that she currently has on her blog. It appears that even though she couldn't be with us, she was still having loads of fun. We missed you, little sis! Next year the party is all about YOU! (I have no idea why this is underlined but it's ticking me off so I'm going to look away and pretend that it is normal, the way I wanted it to be. GRRR!)

Another Tough Lesson Learned!

Okay, so my kids hate it when I blog about them but since I have no other form of entertainment, it's all about them.

Last night as I was sending my kidlets off to bed, Justyn came to me and told me we needed to go somewhere private and talk about something really important. I looked at my mountain of laundry on my bed that still needed folded, the kitchen covered in dirty dishes and plant dirt that Henry had spilled everywhere, the living room cluttered with toys and books and the vacuuming and dusting that still needed to be done before I went to bed and I really just wanted him to talk to me while I kept on working. I didn't have time to stop. He was insistent so I told him to pick the spot. We headed upstairs to the far bedroom where no one sleeps and shut the door. He sat on the bed and I sat down next to him. He started to cry.

J: "Do you promise to still love me no matter what?"
Me: "Umm,....yes?!!"
J: "Will you promise to help me through this problem no matter what?"
Me: "I'll do my best..."
J: "Because your my mom and that's what mom's do, right?"
Me: "Right!"

I have to admit at this point I was scared to death of what was coming next. And seeing him so upset and crying actually made me cry also. Then he told me his problem and I was so relieved that I cried even more.

He really wanted to see what it felt like at school to get a really good grade on his Greek and Latin test and so he put a paper under his desk with the answers on it and then copied the answers. When he got his test back he had received a very good grade and his teacher was so proud of him and all the kids at his table praised him and he said he felt AWFUL!! He knew he had been dishonest and that he had let himself down. He knew he had done the wrong thing and he had spent the last month trying to figure out how to make it right. He said that he had gone to bed each night with a headache because he couldn't stop thinking about it. He had been praying about what he should do and he finally decided that there was no other way out except to just tell the truth. He was at a point where he didn't want to carry this around anymore and he was prepared for whatever punishment he would receive. He was ready to be the first 4th grader expelled from Xavier and he was ready for Dad to "kick his butt" just as long as it could finally all be over. He didn't want to do this on his own anymore. He talked and I listened. And in the end, I think he taught himself a bigger lesson than I ever could have taught him.

I have thought about this overnight and all morning. I remember when he was little and we worked through tough life lessons like "if you don't eat your dinner, you're going to be really, really hungry by morning", or "if you don't bring your laundry down before Sunday morning, you will wear dirty, wrinkly clothes to church", or my personal favorite, "if you wear your shoes for 4 days and nights straight because it's easier to just leave them on then to have to get up and retie them each morning, your feet are going to get really really smelly and they will stay that way for about a year and the doctor will watch them for fungus and other complications". Each thing was major at the time, but we made it through each experience and he learned and grew and has gradually become more and more responsible. Nothing has been so bad though that in the end, a hug and a kiss couldn't fix.

So, as I watched him in tears, sobbing, and begging me to love him no matter what, my mind flashed forward to years ahead and I realized that he will make many more choices, some of which I will probably not agree with or maybe not even understand or be able to fix. It's important that I make sure that my children know that I will always love them unconditionally, no matter what, and that I will do my best to help them where I can, because that's what mother's do. This is an eternal commitment that I made between them and God. I just hope I can have the strength and the right answers when I need them. This is harder than I thought it would be.

As a mother, watching my child suffer and knowing that I couldn't help him until he asked, also made me think more about my relationship with my Father in Heaven. We are taught that He is always there to help us and comfort us but we have to ask. Last night the roles were reversed and I was the parent this time. As Justyn tried to deal with this trial on his own, it was bigger than he had the knowledge and strength to do alone. He finally came to me, extremely broken down and humbled, and asked for my help and forgiveness and was willing to do whatever I decided in order to repent of this and move on in his life. Had he just come to me in the beginning, he could have saved himself a lot of stress and worry and wasted time. Instead, he kept it to himself and tortured himself far more than I would have ever done. As I listened to him, I thought, "You silly child, I was here all along. All you had to do was ask. You don't have to do it all on your own. I am your mother and I love you! I'd love nothing more than to always be here for you, to listen to you, to cry with you, to wipe away your tears, and then gently guide you back to safety."

And I think I finally got it!

Career Placement Test

I'm trying to decide what I should be when I grow up. I found a test online that tells what my medieval occupation would have been.

This is me.

This is what it says:
Your distinct personality, The Shepherd is to tend to your human flock. You understand the needs of those for whom you are responsible. Shepherds are vigilant and reliable. You realize your obligation and commitment to the well being of those entrusted to your care. Shepherds are very dependable. You engender a feeling of comfort and stability to those within your charge. On the positive side, Shepherds can be empathic, caring, understanding, practical and realistic. On the negative side, you may be manipulative, close-minded and sentimentally rigid. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

Sounds like a mom to me!

Happy Mother's Day to ME!

Okay, this post is late, but like always, I have an excuse. Ken was out of town Mother's Day weekend and he left again on Monday morning for another week of training so this weekend was the first time I had to get a picture.

So, here's my Mother's Day weekend recap:

After a frustrating day of waiting for Zach's leader to get him back into town from his temple trip, we finally headed out to my parents late Saturday afternoon. Ken was headed to Denver so I was on my own for the weekend. Once out at my parents, my brother told me that one of the neighbors had passed away the night before. She was only 41 and had left 5 children, ages 20-12. She had died of pneumonia but she was in the latter stages of cancer. It made me so sad because this woman was amazing and everyone loved her. Also, my mom told me that another neighbor, a boy my own age who was currently living in AZ with his wife and 2 small children, had been killed in a head-on collision involving a drunk driver earlier that week. I found myself thinking a lot about these two people and the influence they had had on my life but more than just that, my thoughts were about how fragile and unpredictable our time on this earth is. We just can never afford to take the little moments for granted.

On Sunday, we got up and went to church with my parents. When we arrived at the building, several people met us at the doors telling us that my grandma was not doing well and that the ambulance was on it's way to take her to the hospital. She was having a stroke. It was hard to stand there and watch her gradually get worse and not being able to help in any way. It was like she could hear you but she couldn't get her responses to come out right. She was frustrated and her mind seemed to keep getting worse. I was scared. As they wheeled her away, I honestly didn't know if that was the last time I would see her alive. We stayed for the rest of Sacrament Meeting. My sister-in-law sang a beautiful song, Honor Your Mother by Paige Beck, that was so appropriate for the atmosphere of the meeting as that day many people were grieving the loss of their loved ones. The rest of the day seemed busy with phone calls about Grandma.

That evening on our way out of town, we stopped in to visit with my other grandparents. My grandpa had fallen earlier that week and so he was pretty bruised up and hadn't been able to get out of the house yet. His spirits were still up as he told us that, while flying looks fun and it definately does get you there faster, it sure hurts a lot afterwards and he wouldn't recommend it as a way of going down the stairs. I've always loved my grandpa's sense of humor.

We met up with Ken at the house that evening. He informed me that he needed his laundry quickly washed because he was leaving Monday morning for a week of training. I'm not sure if he forgot to tell me this small detail or if I forgot to write it down BUT I spent the next few minutes letting him know just what I thought of everything from the weather to everyone dying and any other unrelated topic that came to mind. (Thanks Amy for the tension breaker phone call~I was on a roll and in desperate need of a time out!) I then tried on my Mother's Day gift of new boots and THEY DON'T FIT! My calves are too big!!!! Ken kindly reminded me that he knew when he married me that I didn't come from a family of small thighs and calves and it was okay, he still thought I was worth marrying. KIND! But it's not like I can stuff or suck in that part of my body so that those stinkin' boots will fit. On the up side, I am now committed to losing the Kate and Henry fat I've been carrying around for the last 4 years.

Ken returned home this last Friday evening and he gladly skipped out on the Father/Sons overnighter to take me to pick up my helmet and some roses for my yard. That evening we hired our trusty babysitter, Zach, and headed out for a night on the town in our matching blue helmets and my half-zipped up boots. We rode down into the canyon to check out how many boaters were out (Ken was scheduled to do his first day of Marine Patrol for this season the next day and he was super excited to finally be back in a boat on the water, writing tickets and making lots of new friends~NOT!) We even drove down Blue Lakes (the "busy" street in town) and I was so brave. I almost felt like a crazy teenager again as we bonded with the other motorbike cruisers. The only thing that gave away our age was we were the only one's wearing helmets.

The kids made my some cute cards. Their honestly kills me though.

This one is from Justyn. He described me using the letters of my name.

This one is from Alexys. It is a cute house that opens up to some fun(?) facts about me.

Her answers are Laurie, 34, black, 134, vechibales, computer.

(On both of these cards, some of these answers are correct and some are not, but it's humbling to see myself through my children's eyes!)

And Shaelynne gave me a cute coupon book (which I can't seem to find at the moment~shhh!) that is full of coupons that don't ever expire and can be used unlimited times. She is sweet. She told me that when she grows up and is too old to live with me, she will still live very close by so that she can come clean my house everyday. (I honestly hope she lives close but not so that she will clean my house. I just really like being with my kids.)

So, this Mother's Day was filled with lots of emotion for me. I have been reminded that my life is full of goodness and love. I have been reminded of how precious time is and what a gift our lives are to each other. And I have been reminded of ways that I can improve and better myself.

Life is good and I am so blessed!

Saturday Funnies!

Kate came into the room carrying a picture of Ken's parents. She was walking so slow, with her head hung down and she was so sad.
Me: Kate, what are you doing?
Kate: Mom, I'm so sad today because Grandpa and Grandma died.
Me: They didn't die.
Kate (a little sassy): Well, I haven't seen them in a really long time, have I?
Me: No.
Kate: So, they died!
Me: No they didn't. They just haven't been to visit in a long time.
Kate: Why?!!!
Me: They don't like me.
Kate: Oh!....(pause) (Now smiling) Okay!
Kate runs off. I hear her calling: Shaelynne, Alexys, Guess what mom just told me. Grandpa and Grandma died.


Today I hung up some flower baskets in front of my house. I put Justyn in charge of watching Henry while I planted some other plants. Justyn watered the baskets and then he and Henry stood under them waiting for the water to start dripping through the hole. They kept watering the plants until they were soaked. Then Justyn headed over to the flower bed I had just planted and let the water drip off his head onto the flowers. He was so proud of himself. He said that pioneers need to be resourceful and use what's available to them at all times, never wasting anything. So, since we are pioneers(?) and we have no water to waste(?) he was able to shower(?) and then transfer the water to other needy plants(?) and also manage to have a little fun(?) while babysitting(?). He's only a part time pioneer though. When he was finished playing, he headed upstairs for a real shower and clean, dry clothes.


I called the kids down for dinner. They all sat down and stared at me. We prayed and then I showed them what we were having (hot dogs and chips, very complicated) and how to dish it up. They didn't move. I dished me up and started to eat. Now they began to look sad. I told them to dish up, I wasn't their slave. Shaelynne piped in, "Yeah, do you think Mom looks like Harriet Tubman?"


Ken called and told me that they were having a Police Memorial today at city park and to bring the kids down for the BBQ. I loaded the kids up and we went over. It was hot and the speaker went on FOREVER and we could smell the food and Alexys was mad. She sat down on the grass and pouted. "You tricked us! This isn't a BBQ. This is a funeral. And it's for NO ONE!"


Today while we were driving, Justyn pointed out some cows.
Justyn: Look, those cows are playing Leapfrog. Mom, why do cows play Leapfrog?
Me: (chuckling) They don't.
Justyn: What are they trying to do? See over the top of the other one?
Me: Nope!
Justyn: Do they just think it's fun?
Me:Yep!
Justyn: Do you know what they are doing?
Me: Yep!
Justyn:What?
Me: They are...(brief pause...searching for right words)...doing sexual things. (He's 10. We've had the talk.)
Justyn: Oh, so that's why the bull is the one always doing the jumping.
Me:Yep!
Justyn: Now I get it. (He then breathed a sigh of relief) Phew! Thanks for telling me. That was a close one. That would have been a little embarrassing if I would have said that to any of my friends. Ha! Leapfrog!
Me: No problem! (Still laughing!)


Update: We just got back from a reception. Ken was working so I took the 3 girls with me so they could see the pretty bride. We had visited with the Bride and her parents and we had finished our treats and it was time to go. I told the girls to finish up so we could leave. Kate said, " I want to look at that pretty tooth fairy one more time before we leave. She's so beautiful in her white dress." I said, "She's a bride, not a tooth fairy." Kate said, "What's a bride? I thought only the tooth fairy was supposed to wear white dresses like that."

Xavier Spring Concert

Last night was the charter schools Spring Concert. They had it in the college auditorium because their own school building is way too small. The entire program was amazing. I was emotional all the way through it. I was just so thankful that a school like this exists and is available to us. I also couldn't help thinking back over the entire school year and, with this being our first year back in public school, I am so proud of my kids and all that they have learned and accomplished and that they stuck with it through to the end. They have each grown so much and last night was a perfect way to sum it all upDue to my lack of planning, we decided at the last minute that everyone needed new clothes. We buzzed over to Old Navy and hit the clearance racks. We lucked out and found very cute clothes for everyone, even the little ones not on the program got something new to wear. Then they all changed in the back of the suburban while we grabbed dinner from drive-thru at McDonald's. As crazy as the afternoon was, they looked great and they felt really good about themselves. It was a fun little outing and we will probably make it a tradition. Well, maybe not the whole rushed last minute thing, but it was fun to get something new to wear to their concerts and they were so thankful that it makes me want to do it for them again. I'm a sucker, I know.


To begin each school day, the students recite the Pledge of Alegience, the Idaho State Pledge, the Xavier School Creed, their own class creed, the 8 Great Expectations, and the Patriotic Song of the month. It was noisy before the Concert began and the Principal was on the stage ready to start and the talking was slow in stopping. Suddenly there was a hush over the audience and coming from the back of the auditorium where the students were all seated with their classes you could hear the entire Student Body reciting:


I am a member of the Xavier Charter School family.

I am intelligent and capable. I have great expectations for myself, and I accept the challenge to become the best I can be.

I am trustworthy, respectful, fair and caring. I allow humility and service to others to illuminate the path before me.

I am proud, strong and brave – a leader of tomorrow.

.
I was instantly in tears. I knew I was in trouble. Some times I'm just a little too emotional and this night was one of them. I just love this school!!!

The Kindergarten class did some very cute poems about ice cream. They were so cute and next year Alexys gets to be with them in First Grade. We are so excited!!!


The First and Second grade class did a tap dance to the song "Itsy Bitsy Spider"(the Inside Out version). In the cold months, which is most of the school year, they learn dance in their P.E. class. This was so cute but Shaelynne was in the back and I could only get little glimpses of her and since I had Henry on my lap not wanting to be disturbed because he was burning up with a fever and I was on my own since Ken is out of town for the week for training, I didn't move. I just took what I could get so I have no pictures of her. Then they sang all the verses to "America the Beautiful". It was beautiful. Once again, Shaelynne was in the back but occasionally she would pop her head out so I could see her and I would quickly snap a picture of her. She looked beautiful.





Next, the Third and Fourth and a few Fifth Graders danced the waltz. This was so funny. They were bumping into each other and trying so hard to do it right and yet so uncomfortable having to dance with each other. I loved it. Justyn's partner was a Fifth grader so he had never danced with her before. He was stressed. His mouth was wide open most of the time. He looked so small up on that big stage. I was reminded that he is only 10!



I did manage to capture his one happy moment on camera though.

The Third Grade then did a couple of cute poems.





Then the Fourth Grade then sang the Idaho song, "Here We Have Idaho." This was emotional for me because I remember being in Fourth grade and studying Idaho History and going on the exact same field trip to Boise to the Museum and the Historic State Penitentiary (the Capital Building is being remodeled so they missed that stop) and then to the park by the zoo and then a quick trip through the zoo. And I remember Mrs. Hurst, my History teacher, playing the piano and belting out:


You've heard of the wonders our land does possess,
It's beautiful valleys and hills,
The majestic forests where nature abounds,
We love every nook and rill.

And here we have Idaho
Winning her way to fame.
Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,
and romance lies in her name.
Singing, we're singing of you,
Ah, proudly too,
All our lives thru, we'll go
Singing, singing of you,
Singing of Idaho.

There's truly one state in this great land of ours
Where ideals can be realized.
The pioneers made it so for you and me,
A legacy we'll always prize.


(I know all you native Idahoans are singing along)


Then the Principal had us all sing it again with them and no one knew the words. Now, I know I'm not the only one who grew up in Idaho.... No worries, I sang out loud and proud!



The Fifth Grade then did the cutest actions and recited the entire poem of "Casey at the Bat" and sang "Take Me Out To the Ballgame." And I cried when thier teacher snuck onto the stage last minute in her baseball cap and jersey to perform with them because that is how awesome all the teachers are at this school. They love these kids!

Then the Sixth Graders recited the entire Declaration of Independence from memory. They did awesome. I have never even read the entire thing through let alone memorize it. Of course, Zach stood on the back row so I only saw his ear most of the time.


The rest of the evening was filled with music from the after school Strings Orchestra, the Middle School Choir and the Show Choir, the Musical Song Theater class and performances by the Company Dance class, the Musical Dance Theater and the after school Hip Hop class. I was hugely impressed by the performances and now that my kids have seen these groups preform, they are excited to participate in them also.

Thanks Xavier for a wonderful year!

Just for fun....

Let's play another round of "What did Ken get me?" See here and here for round one. (Some of the pictures from these posts are missing but you'll get the idea of how this game is played.)


So, for Mother's Day, did I recieve.....

#1

Beautiful Flowers AND

Breakfast in Bed,

#2
A new summer dress AND cute matching shoes,

OR

#3

Black Motorcycle Riding Boots AND

A Riding Helmet

???????