Talkin' about....Henry

Today at Toddler Lab, we had Henry's six month evaluation. Ken and I were both frustrated and were trying to communicate our concerns. Our Head coordinator interrupted us, "But Laurie, stop and look at how far he has come in the last six months!"

Pause....

I guess it's time to write this down just so that I can gain perspective and celebrate how much progress Henry really has made in the last six months.

It was shortly after Henry had turned 2, I contacted our Primary President in our ward, who also works for Health and Welfare. I was at a breaking point. I had a 2 year old who was out of control. I couldn't do anything with him. He would throw himself into tantrums that would damage everyone and everything that was in his way. He was unable to calm himself down. I finally resorted to putting him in the laundry room until his cry changed from rage to something more workable. He was not sleeping at night so I was exhausted, he would not eat, and he did not talk. I had read a book on sensory disorder and decided that he had some issues that were beyond my "mom expertise". Our Primary President set us up immediately with a case worker and we began Henry's early intervention.

It was determined that his development was delayed, about 12 months, his speech was at a nine month old, comprehension was at 12 months, and he definitely had sensory issues. The first recommendation was to have his tonsils removed, so in April we had that surgery done. That was a miracle cure. Since then he sleeps soundly, his behavior has improved and he is a whole new kid. He still has break downs but nothing like before. Only about one a day compared to ALL DAY LONG. I'll take it....for now.

It was also recommended that he begin therapy for speech, comprehension, development, sensory and behavior. I opted to begin with speech, development, and sensory. (Why not all of them? um, to begin with, I have five other kids and I'm in school full time, I can't be in therapy all the time.)

We started with a speech therapist that I did not like. After 2 months, I switched to our current therapist. LOVE HER! We also started with sensory at a provider, but after 4 months, I intervened and we are now at the same facility for both sensory and speech. His speech is 2 days a week for a half hour each time and his sensory is 45 minutes once a week.

Development has been in our home for 45 minutes every other week. We have loved the therapist that Henry has worked with.

When we started down this road six months ago, Henry would not go to any therapy. He would scream the entire time. It was painful for everyone. Then one day something just clicked. He has not had a problem since. He goes to everything without any protest. We even caught him actually enjoying himself on several occasions.

So, a couple weeks ago, the Health Department called us to let us know that Henry had been accepted into their toddler lab and that is was time to promote him from individual developmental therapy to group therapy. This is a transition time because once he turns three he moves out of the Child Development Program and into the public school preschool program.

Fast Forward to today: Henry LOVES preschool and he really enjoys his therapy sessions. He plays with tons of new toys, eats fun foods, feels like a big kid, and NEVER says a word. Not even a voiced sound. Just nods and points.

Our frustration is: Why isn't he talking?

His hearing has been checked and re-checked. Perfect hearing!
He has a voice because he jabbers all the time....at home, not at therapy or school.
He makes no hard sounds, only vowel type sounds and has a small vocabulary.
He says ma, da, tay-tu(thank-you), no, go, whoa,...you get the idea.
When we started this he had just turned 2 and tested a nine month old in speech.
He is now 4 month from turning 3 and he has improved to 13 months old.

We are now preparing to have him seen by a pediatric behavior/neurologist (or something like that) because no one has any answers or explanations.

We are told that he is controlling his voice. Meaning, when someone wants him to speak, he whispers or refuses to make a sound. But when he wants to talk, he is very loud.

I say, Okay...but, why then when he does choose to speak do no words ever come out?????

I know kids that are shy or quiet or just don't like to talk. And when they do talk it surprises everyone because they talk in big huge sentences.

I know, he'll do it when he's ready.....

Until then, I'm frustrated because my days are filled with preschool and therapy and therapy and preschool and therapy with no progress being made and no answers to help me feel like it's okay.

The End!

15 years together

Thursday, September 24th, was our 15th wedding anniversary. My parents came and stayed overnight with the kids and we escaped. We didn't go anywhere fancy or do anything extraordinary...we just got away from "normal" and enjoyed "us". It was relaxing and nice.

Reflecting back over the years, it's been a journey...a journey from childhood into adulthood.

We were so young and inexperienced, yet we had so much faith in our future together.

I hope I am a little smarter now. I feel a lot more humble then I once was.

Looking at today, I know I have been very blessed. I have a good life, beautiful children, and have created it all with the most perfect man for me.

Wondering and dreaming on tomorrow, I find myself somewhat hesitant....am I still strong enough to face the challenges that I know will surely come?

Yes, I know I am.

The next 15 years will bring much different change than the last 15 have. I will have a house full of teenagers, my children will drive, date, and go to college. I will send sons on missions, my children will marry, and grandchildren will come. I will continue to grow and mature and hopefully become better, more obedient to God's will, as I honestly strive to live my life the best that I can. And I look forward to all of these experiences, hand in hand with Ken.

A female we came into contact with on our anniversary asked us what we were celebrating. Ken told her "15 years of marriage" to which she gasped. Ken asked her if she was married. She replied, "Yes, two weeks now, but you have given me hope." Ken chuckled, "that bad huh" and she nodded. As we walked away from her, we couldn't help but pity her. At two weeks of marriage, we were still feeling really optimistic :)

So why us and not her?

At my bridal shower, a small notebook was passed around and everyone wrote down marriage advise. One was "never let your pillow see a tear." Another was "always greet him with a kiss and a smile." But my personal favorite was, "I'm only 10. I have no advise. I'm going to watch you. Good luck! :)"

One example I have looked to my entire life is that of my mother's parents. My grandparents will celebrate 66 years of marriage this December. They have lived a humble life, yet their greatest joys and successes are not be measured in terms of monetary gain. They have 8 children, 48 grandchildren, and over 100 great grandchildren with many more rapidly coming. Their posterity all "walk in truth and righteousness". They have suffered through trials and heartache just like everyone else does. My grandfather does not have much time left and it's hard to watch them go through this transition time in their marriage. One thing I admire and love about my grandparents is that through it all,they always hold hands. I think the secret to their long life together is summed up in that small, often unnoticed gesture. I used to watch them sit together and hold hands. Actually, when I would walk into a room and see them, I often found myself checking to make sure they were still holding hands. I loved that my grandfather loved my grandmother. As a child, I found so much security in their relationship. As an "older" child, I still notice when they are holding hands. To me it means they are physically close to each other, they are aware of the other persons needs, they find comfort in each other, their is no tension between them, they are united.

To many people around us, 15 years seems like a LONG time to endure marriage. To me, "Endure" is all about attitude and 15 years is very near the beginning in our goal of eternity. I am thankful for the time I have had so far with Ken by my side and I look forward to many more years spent together....hand in hand.

MIA

Things have been a little rough around here the first thing to fall my priority ladder (see Stacie, I listened to the R.S. lesson) was my blog. My girls have asked me to keep it up since they like to read what I write so I'm going to do better, though I don't know that I can ever catch up.

I'll summarize and then go forward and make up as I get time.

-Alexys was baptized this summer.
-Justyn received the Aaronic priesthood.
-Zach advanced to the office of a teacher within the Aaronic priesthood (did I say that right?)
-Kathryn started Kindergarten this fall. She is at a different school than the other kids are. Actually a completely different school district so her days off are not the same as theirs. What's one more schedule to keep straight, right?
-Zach is in 8th grade.
-Justyn is in 6th grade.
-Shaelynne is in 4th grade.
-Alexys is in 2nd grade.
-Henry is home alone with me.
-I am taking another semester of classes this fall. (Only 15 credits this time)
-I got straight A's last semester (17 credits-WHOOT!!) but I'm not counting on that again since this semester I am taking College Algebra and Biology, two classes I am not so great at!
-Ken is out of narcotics and back on patrol working a 4 on/4 off rotation.
-We have been busy painting walls, putting up ceiling fans, and just about finished installing my new front door.
-I actually grew some things in my garden this year besides weeds and 5 corn stalks (last years attempt was so pathetic and sad that it wasn't worth blogging about). -This year we grew things, I just lacked the motivation to harvest it. Maybe next year will be the year I put it all together... ;)
-Our summer was spent in therapy!!! Henry in speech twice a week, development, and sensory; Justyn and Alexys both in speech.
-We got to attend my sister Chanae's wedding in February and Ken's brother's wedding in July.
-We had an awesome 2009 Brent Wilson family reunion (which I also planned-LOVE to party with my siblings and parents!)
-I wrecked my suburban this summer (Yes, my fault. DANG!) Then I got whip lash and had to go to the chiropractor and massage therapist weekly for two months. That was rough...or not!
-I had two nephews get baptized this summer (more excuses to get together with family!)
-I planted 30 shrubs and bushes around my yard this spring.
-I am teaching piano lessons again and I LOVE it!
-Zach tried out for and made it into the advanced dance and advance choir classes at his school. I am SOOO proud of him and can't wait to see him perform this year!
-Zach was also old enough to attend his first teen dance yesterday....and I "forgot" to tell him about it so he didn't go. He's just not ready...or I'm not ready...why do they have to keep growing up?!??!
-In my spare time I stare the the never-ending mountain of laundry on my couch and dishes in my sink! Thankfully Shaelynne loves to clean and keeps my sink empty and my counters washed off. I'm on my own with laundry though.
-Ken and I spent many mornings/evenings walking the Snake River Canyon this summer. I loved it. Lost no physical weight but shed a TON of mental and emotional baggage! As I hiked that canyon grade, I loved pushing through to the top (as if I had any other way out) and realizing that I really am stronger than I think and that I can do hard things and come out on top! (That's a great post for another time!)
-My kids get on the school bus at 6:40 in the morning so wake-up time is 5:15 around here. I recently learned that I really can get up that early and even semi- function. (Though I go right back to bed as soon as they are on the bus!)

Okay, that's a pretty long list. Evidence why I need to blog one thing at a time and not a massively boring long list once a year.
I'll do better, it's for my kids!