Social Class

Yesterday, I helped out in Justyn's class. It was their end-of-the-year party. I was in charge of teaching the kids how to make homemade bead necklaces. Have you ever tried to home make beads and have them dried (no fair cooking them) and strung in 30 minutes? I tried several recipes and I struck out. We finally did salt dough and just let them air dry all day. Then they got rained on and all thrown away. Oh well, the kids loved getting sticky and dirty and creating with the dough.

So, on to my thoughts. These students argued with each other so much. They were mean and cutting to each other. I can't tell you how many hurt feelings and sad faces I saw in the 2 hours I was there. At one point, I actually told the kids to stop. They said this was normal. I told them that they fight worse then brothers and sisters do and that they needed to look around and realize the damage that they were doing to each other. They didn't get it.

Justyn told me last night that he is no longer friends with a girl that has been his closest friend this entire school year. Having just experienced the attitude of this class, this comment did not surprise me. I asked him why not. He said that she told him 'she was A class and he was D class and so they could no longer associate with each other. It was too damaging to her social image.' He said he told her they were 4th graders and that she was being silly. She didn't agree. She has to look out for herself and for her future and so no matter how well they get along or what their past relationship has been, they can no longer be friends. I was surprised and kind of dumbfounded at this point. I asked where she could have gotten such an idea from. He said she read it in a book.

What do you tell your child at this point? My first response was to tell him she was mean and cruel and that she was D class, not him and to stay away from her! Who needs her anyways. Then I rethought my response and decided to handle this like a mature mother and not a spoiled, hurt child. Instead, we talked about why people tear others down. That usually it means they are insecure with something about themselves and that while I don't think he has to put up with being treated that way, I expect him to still be kind. If he looks around him, he will probably find that others are being treated the same way and that maybe, if he befriends them, he will find out that they are pretty cool also, just like he is. We decided that he can prove he's "Class A" by not returning her cruelty.

I've often thought about social classes. I've never thought of myself as "Class D" but never "Class A" either. Probably "B" or "C". As I teach my children, I am slowly seeing things differently. While I like the idea of high-society, is it worth the cost? If "A" means that you have to shun others and put others down in order to lift yourself up, then I would rather not be apart of that. And why can't we classify each other based on good works and kindness rather than money and clout. I want my children to grow up respecting themselves and the world around them. I want them to find happiness in serving and in making their world better and more beautiful because they were in it and not in cutting and tearing others down. Why do we have to be so hard on each other? I know, they are only 10 years old. They are still kids. But seriously, is this too much to expect? And am I doing enough to lead my children by example? At this point, probably "Class D" is about right.

My only thought at this point is, I'm so glad that summer break is two days away!