Line Upon Line

Once upon a time.....
there was a little girl. She was born into a family where she was the oldest child with 6 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers. She grew up on a small farm way out in the middle of nowhere. She was surrounded by much family; all her grandparents and many uncles, aunts, and cousins and she knew she was the luckiest girl alive. She learned to milk cows, move hand lines, hoe sugar beets, and pick rock but mostly she just played and played and played. The whole world, for as far as she could walk, was her play ground.
And she was happy!

As she grew, life seemed to become more complicated, but with the support and unconditional love of her family, she knew she would always be okay. She could make it through anything because she knew who she was and she knew that her family would always be there for her, no matter what choices she made.
And she knew she was blessed.

One day, she met her prince charming. It was love at first sight, sort of. After one date of water skiing, a slight misunderstanding and a second chance at a Young Single Adult activity, they were engaged a week later and married 6 weeks later. It was an exciting time but mostly this girl knew that she had found someone who was perfect for her. Together they were a good team.
And she loved him very much.

Children came quickly. There were many moves, college, more children and job changes but this girls heart was overflowing with love and joy. There were good times and bad but she knew that together, side by side, they could face any giant that came across their path. Her life was full of good.
And she was happy.

Her children grew and so did she. Each day brought a new surprise or challenge, but as she sought for answers on bended knees and kept her eyes focused on her eternal goal, she knew that she would have the knowledge and strength to make the right decisions.
And she was happier now than she had ever been.

One day, her life changed forever. She was faced with one of her biggest challenges ever, and this one was very personal because it hurt one of her precious children. This little girl suddenly realized that life can be really cruel and very ugly and she experienced hurt and pain like she had never felt before. She learned what it must be like when a mother animal becomes angry or scared and she follows her instincts to do everything in her power to protect her young one. She wanted to wave her magic wand and make it all better. She didn't have the answers and she was faced with the cold harsh truth of knowing she couldn't always protect her loved ones.
And she cried and cried.

She wanted to run back home to when she was a child, and crawl into her safe bed and sleep, knowing that in the morning, her mother would make it all okay. But she couldn't do that because she was the mom now. She was still surrounded by loved ones but suddenly, love didn't seem big enough to fix her world. As things progressed from very bad to worse, she felt like her whole foundation was crumbling. Everything she had ever loved or believed in seemed to be questioned and tested. She didn't know if she had the inner strength to make it through this challenge.
And she didn't know if she even wanted to try anymore.

One night, she found herself ready to walk away from it all. She didn't want to be a part of something that hurt so much. She doubted her abilities and her divine worth...and her faith. In desperation, she found herself on her knees, pleading for some kind of proof that her prayers and cries were being heard.
And she felt peace.

The next day, as she was going through a box of papers looking for some documents her husband needed, a small piece of paper slipped out of her pile and silently fell to the floor. She picked it up and her tears began to fall. It was a copy of her patriarchal blessing. As she read the sacred words spoken just for her many, many years ago, she remembered who she was and what she believed. And she knew she was loved far deeper than anything she could comprehend while here during this earthly experience. Her feelings of intense hurt and pain and of overwhelming love and desire to protect her child paled in comparison to what her Heavenly Father felt for her and her family. And through him she knew she would be able to find the faith and strength to face this monster and win.
And she wept.

As she listened to General Conference that weekend, every single talk was an answer to one of her pleas. And once again, she felt the indescribable love of a Father to his child. She was not alone. Her burdens had been lifted.
And her faith was strengthened.

As for the happily ever after ending....well, this story is still being written. There are many chapters left to live. There will be more love and joy along with pain and sorrow. That is all part of the plan. This girl knows that this journey we call earth life is not about fairy tales and magic but it is about faith, love, and joy**.
And she is strong.



** "I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters."
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine