Little (or BIG) Surprises

I was playing on my blog and probably on your blog also, working through my huge pile of laundry when the phone rang. It was my neighbor, whom I don't know very well but my sons play with her's. I like their family and they seem to like us okay so it's all good. I am a little confused as to why she is calling me though. She begins to tell me about how her boys (8 year old twins) got in trouble at school that day and how she had been recieving phone calls from other parents in her boys class. I'm thinking, "I'm sorry. What does this have to do with me? My kids go to a different school than yours do." She tells me that her boys are in trouble because of a story that they have been repeating to their friends at school. She tells me the story and I am shocked! With Hubby's line of work, I hear alot of things that shock me but this was probably the filthiest story I had ever heard a child tell. I'm still confused as to why we are having this conversation though. She tells me that she called her boys in and asked them where they had heard this story from. They told her from J. I gasped. Excuse me? Did you just say your boys heard that story from MY J? I was so embarrassed. I apologized repeatedly and thanked her for bringing this to my attention. I told her that I would get to the bottom of this and that J would be down later with an apology and an explanation. She was very kind. She said that she was also shocked when they told her it was J whom they had heard it from and even though she knows very little about our family, she was sure that I had no idea he was a part of this and that he probably didn't understand at all what he was saying. I appreciated her coming straight to me to discuss this and I'm thankful that we have a pretty decent reputation amongst our neighbors, at least for now!

I remember when I was pregnant with K and we found out she was going to be a girl. J asked, "How can they tell that our baby is a girl?" S, who was 4 at the time, jumped in to the conversation and explained that girls have privates that are squished and boys don't. Life seemed pretty simple back then.

I decided to pack up the little kids and go to school to have lunch with my J. We needed to talk! He said that he had heard it from a 5th grade girl on the bus and that he just thought it was a funny story. After a few more things he told me she had said, I went to fill the principal in on this problem and to find out if she wanted to deal with this or if she would like me to. She said that she would. After school, Hubby and I called our older children in to have a serious talk. If they are going to tell those kinds of stories, they had better know exactly what they are talking about. Since it was my idea, Hubby suggested that I do the talking. So I did! My boys were close to vomiting all over the floor and Hubby almost had to be asked to leave because his covering his face and falling out of his chair from laughing so hard was very distracting. He said he was shocked that I knew as much as I did. I proudly told him that I, too, have a school bus education. As we talked about different things, I would use "correct" words and they had no clue what I was talking about. So, I would try to use words that maybe they were more familiar with, then we were speaking the same language. It's amazing how that is one area that hasn't changed much since I was a teenager. When we were finished and they had no more questions, J headed down to the neighbors house, sick to his stomach but much wiser, and apologized for what he had said. He told them that he did not know earlier what that story was about at all but that his mother had explained it to him and now he knew everything. He was so sorry! When he got back he told me that alot of things in life were very different now. He was understanding alot of things for the first time. I think he is a changed boy!


That same day, the kids brought their report cards home. S has straight A's. J has A's and high B's. A has exceeds grade level in everything, and Z has A's in PE, Music, and Art, B's in Language/History, D in Science and F in Math! I grounded him from the PS2 until those two grades are raised. He has been an emotional disaster ever since. His life is so awful it's not worth living, he's going to flunk out of school, he has no friends, he has no talent, he's a loser, etc. He refuses to go to Mutual on Wednesdays, he wants to be released from his calling at church so he can just stay home, he begs everyday to let him just drop out of school. Yesterday, their school declared it a "snow day" and took all the kids up to the ski resort to go skiing, snowboarding and tubing. He had so much fun, until it was time to come back to reality. I spent all night in his room with him yesterday, cleaning it and talking to him and just trying to get a feel for where the real problems are. I really have no clue! (But he has a very clean room!)

Today I woke up feeling sick. My throat hurts and I have a really bad headache. When A threw her little fit about not wanting to go to school again today, I gave in and let her stay home!

So, do you know any good secret magical mommy formula's for dealing with teenagers and tweenagers? These are just my first two and they are boys. What will I do when I have all of them in this stage? I need a good book to read. I was thinking about The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers. Have you heard of anything you would recommend? I'm open for suggestions.....