The boys were supposed to each have a leader with them along the way. None of the leaders in our ward were able to attend with Zach so he was assigned to travel with some leaders from a different ward. The plan was that they would travel as a group to Oakley were the hike would begin at 4pm Friday evening. There were check stations set up every 5-ish miles where the boys could refill water, tape their feet, eat, whatever they needed. There were also vehicles traveling with the boys and a couple of porta-potties also traveling with them. Looking back, Ken and I really had very little information about this activity and we were very trusting that Zach would be okay.
Throughout the evening Ken and I kept commenting about how far Zach should be and imagining the kind of fun he must be having with all those youth and leaders. We even called one of the stake leaders to find out how Zach was doing. He said he had not seen Zach yet but the group was way ahead of schedule and doing well. We couldn't wait to hear all the details the following day when he arrived home, exhausted, yet successful.
About 12:30 a.m. the garage opened. I sat straight up in bed and nudged Ken awake. I was terrified. Someone was breaking into our house...someone who knew the garage code! .... ??????
Ken was brave and went to investigate. He brought back...Zach.
He was tired and hungry and DONE!
I was shocked and confused and full of questions.
As he pulled the duct tape off of his feet (it was wrapped around each toe and looked like it was going to be painful to pull off), he told us of his evening.
They all started out as a big group. He walked many miles with the Stake President and several boys. About 10:30 p.m. his feet hurt so he stopped at the check station to wrap his feet. When he was ready to leave, he realized his group had already left. He was sure they were just ahead of him so he started out alone. This part of the trek was on a dirt road. It was dark and the road had rocks all along it. He walked and walked but did not find anyone. At the next check station, the leaders stopped him and told him he could not walk alone. He had to be with a group. It was about midnight. He waited for the next group. It was a group from the Spanish Branch. He walked with them for a while but they were not speaking in English so he still felt like he was walking alone. When one of the cars following the group asked him how he was doing, he said he was ready to go home. They loaded him into the car and brought him home. He had walked 25 miles!
Wait! He walked alone for 5 miles in the dark out in the middle of nowhere? Where was his assigned leaders? The leader that knew he was responsible for Zach actually dropped out about 2 hours into the hike. Zach was fine because he was walking with the Stake President so he was fine. Except that the Stake President wasn't responsible for Zach.
I was feeling very upset about the idea that Zach had been out alone. I realize he is 14 years old and hiking 50 miles in 20 hours is a hard thing to do. But he didn't quit because he was physically tired. He quit because he didn't want to walk the next 25 miles ALONE!!!
The next morning Ken and I got up to go walk the canyon. We drove past the church. About a mile out, there was a boy running to the finish line. Behind him was his father, also running (our Stake President). Further back was another group of boys and some leaders. It was 7 am. This group was the first to make it in. They were exhausted, yet they were running last couple miles in. I have to admit, I was very impressed. I also felt very sad. While this son was crossing the finish line with his father close behind, my son was home in bed.
I did not feel like Ken had let his son down. Ken had fallen off his bike a couple days before and injured his ankle. There was no way he could have walked 50 miles. I also did not have hard feelings towards his leaders. I understand that they had prior commitments. I just felt sad that no one was there for my son. He walked alone.
I thought about this through out the next several days. It really bothered me. My mind was full of so many "what if's", "could have's", and "should have's".
I later found out that most of the boys dropped out at 25 miles or before. Only a few made it to the finish line. Those that did had a strong support group of friends, leaders, and fathers.
My son had none of those things.
We live in a ward where he is the only teacher. We have one priest, and three deacons.
I imagine it must be hard to be a leader to only one boy. He has not felt the support of teacher leaders. He is with the priests most of the time. He enjoys that but feels like the 5th wheel in the group. He feels alone and often is discouraged about attending activities throughout the week. He has told me that most of his monthly fasts and his daily prayers include a plea to Heavenly Father to send just one more boys to his quorum.
I have really struggled as I watch him struggle. He is a good kid. He tries hard to always do what is right, especially when it comes to honoring his priesthood and living the gospel.
This was just a hike but it caused me to look deeply at life. He is a young man. He has never walked this path before. He has been given parents and leaders to help guide him and support him. The road is rough and painful and times. Some hours are dark and he must learn to walk by faith.
So what happens to the youth who walk alone? They give up. They get lost. They don't make it to the finish line.
If our children are going to make it through the trials of this life, they cannot be expected to walk alone. We also cannot step back and hope that someone else will help them get there.
This experience has caused me to evaluate the kind of parents Ken and I are to our children. We need to do better.
So, where are my boys this week?
Justyn is at scout camp and Zach just left on the High Adventure White Water Rafting Trip. Once again I have entrusted my boys into the care of their leaders. Actually Justyn's leader could only stay at camp until Wednesday but assured me that another ward would look after him for the remaining 4 days. Because those words echoed a familiar tune, I begged my dad to attend camp the second half of the week so that Justyn would have someone there who really cared about his well being. My Dad does not even live in our ward, let alone the same town. He lives an hour away and is in the middle of watering his fields right now. He loves his family and makes sacrifices for what is important in life. My Dad is awesome like that. Thanks Dad!!!
I am a little more nervous about Zach's adventure. Once again he does not have any leaders from our ward with him (and I only have one dad). I have been reassured that he will be taken good care of. He was called to be the President of this group. This ensures that he will be next to the Stake Leaders at all times since he is their "go-to" kid. I'm sure he will arrive home exhausted and tired on Saturday with many tales to tell. At least I hope...
Now, if my garage door opens at 12:30 a.m. tonight,....