Talkin' about....Henry

Today at Toddler Lab, we had Henry's six month evaluation. Ken and I were both frustrated and were trying to communicate our concerns. Our Head coordinator interrupted us, "But Laurie, stop and look at how far he has come in the last six months!"

Pause....

I guess it's time to write this down just so that I can gain perspective and celebrate how much progress Henry really has made in the last six months.

It was shortly after Henry had turned 2, I contacted our Primary President in our ward, who also works for Health and Welfare. I was at a breaking point. I had a 2 year old who was out of control. I couldn't do anything with him. He would throw himself into tantrums that would damage everyone and everything that was in his way. He was unable to calm himself down. I finally resorted to putting him in the laundry room until his cry changed from rage to something more workable. He was not sleeping at night so I was exhausted, he would not eat, and he did not talk. I had read a book on sensory disorder and decided that he had some issues that were beyond my "mom expertise". Our Primary President set us up immediately with a case worker and we began Henry's early intervention.

It was determined that his development was delayed, about 12 months, his speech was at a nine month old, comprehension was at 12 months, and he definitely had sensory issues. The first recommendation was to have his tonsils removed, so in April we had that surgery done. That was a miracle cure. Since then he sleeps soundly, his behavior has improved and he is a whole new kid. He still has break downs but nothing like before. Only about one a day compared to ALL DAY LONG. I'll take it....for now.

It was also recommended that he begin therapy for speech, comprehension, development, sensory and behavior. I opted to begin with speech, development, and sensory. (Why not all of them? um, to begin with, I have five other kids and I'm in school full time, I can't be in therapy all the time.)

We started with a speech therapist that I did not like. After 2 months, I switched to our current therapist. LOVE HER! We also started with sensory at a provider, but after 4 months, I intervened and we are now at the same facility for both sensory and speech. His speech is 2 days a week for a half hour each time and his sensory is 45 minutes once a week.

Development has been in our home for 45 minutes every other week. We have loved the therapist that Henry has worked with.

When we started down this road six months ago, Henry would not go to any therapy. He would scream the entire time. It was painful for everyone. Then one day something just clicked. He has not had a problem since. He goes to everything without any protest. We even caught him actually enjoying himself on several occasions.

So, a couple weeks ago, the Health Department called us to let us know that Henry had been accepted into their toddler lab and that is was time to promote him from individual developmental therapy to group therapy. This is a transition time because once he turns three he moves out of the Child Development Program and into the public school preschool program.

Fast Forward to today: Henry LOVES preschool and he really enjoys his therapy sessions. He plays with tons of new toys, eats fun foods, feels like a big kid, and NEVER says a word. Not even a voiced sound. Just nods and points.

Our frustration is: Why isn't he talking?

His hearing has been checked and re-checked. Perfect hearing!
He has a voice because he jabbers all the time....at home, not at therapy or school.
He makes no hard sounds, only vowel type sounds and has a small vocabulary.
He says ma, da, tay-tu(thank-you), no, go, whoa,...you get the idea.
When we started this he had just turned 2 and tested a nine month old in speech.
He is now 4 month from turning 3 and he has improved to 13 months old.

We are now preparing to have him seen by a pediatric behavior/neurologist (or something like that) because no one has any answers or explanations.

We are told that he is controlling his voice. Meaning, when someone wants him to speak, he whispers or refuses to make a sound. But when he wants to talk, he is very loud.

I say, Okay...but, why then when he does choose to speak do no words ever come out?????

I know kids that are shy or quiet or just don't like to talk. And when they do talk it surprises everyone because they talk in big huge sentences.

I know, he'll do it when he's ready.....

Until then, I'm frustrated because my days are filled with preschool and therapy and therapy and preschool and therapy with no progress being made and no answers to help me feel like it's okay.

The End!

15 years together

Thursday, September 24th, was our 15th wedding anniversary. My parents came and stayed overnight with the kids and we escaped. We didn't go anywhere fancy or do anything extraordinary...we just got away from "normal" and enjoyed "us". It was relaxing and nice.

Reflecting back over the years, it's been a journey...a journey from childhood into adulthood.

We were so young and inexperienced, yet we had so much faith in our future together.

I hope I am a little smarter now. I feel a lot more humble then I once was.

Looking at today, I know I have been very blessed. I have a good life, beautiful children, and have created it all with the most perfect man for me.

Wondering and dreaming on tomorrow, I find myself somewhat hesitant....am I still strong enough to face the challenges that I know will surely come?

Yes, I know I am.

The next 15 years will bring much different change than the last 15 have. I will have a house full of teenagers, my children will drive, date, and go to college. I will send sons on missions, my children will marry, and grandchildren will come. I will continue to grow and mature and hopefully become better, more obedient to God's will, as I honestly strive to live my life the best that I can. And I look forward to all of these experiences, hand in hand with Ken.

A female we came into contact with on our anniversary asked us what we were celebrating. Ken told her "15 years of marriage" to which she gasped. Ken asked her if she was married. She replied, "Yes, two weeks now, but you have given me hope." Ken chuckled, "that bad huh" and she nodded. As we walked away from her, we couldn't help but pity her. At two weeks of marriage, we were still feeling really optimistic :)

So why us and not her?

At my bridal shower, a small notebook was passed around and everyone wrote down marriage advise. One was "never let your pillow see a tear." Another was "always greet him with a kiss and a smile." But my personal favorite was, "I'm only 10. I have no advise. I'm going to watch you. Good luck! :)"

One example I have looked to my entire life is that of my mother's parents. My grandparents will celebrate 66 years of marriage this December. They have lived a humble life, yet their greatest joys and successes are not be measured in terms of monetary gain. They have 8 children, 48 grandchildren, and over 100 great grandchildren with many more rapidly coming. Their posterity all "walk in truth and righteousness". They have suffered through trials and heartache just like everyone else does. My grandfather does not have much time left and it's hard to watch them go through this transition time in their marriage. One thing I admire and love about my grandparents is that through it all,they always hold hands. I think the secret to their long life together is summed up in that small, often unnoticed gesture. I used to watch them sit together and hold hands. Actually, when I would walk into a room and see them, I often found myself checking to make sure they were still holding hands. I loved that my grandfather loved my grandmother. As a child, I found so much security in their relationship. As an "older" child, I still notice when they are holding hands. To me it means they are physically close to each other, they are aware of the other persons needs, they find comfort in each other, their is no tension between them, they are united.

To many people around us, 15 years seems like a LONG time to endure marriage. To me, "Endure" is all about attitude and 15 years is very near the beginning in our goal of eternity. I am thankful for the time I have had so far with Ken by my side and I look forward to many more years spent together....hand in hand.

MIA

Things have been a little rough around here the first thing to fall my priority ladder (see Stacie, I listened to the R.S. lesson) was my blog. My girls have asked me to keep it up since they like to read what I write so I'm going to do better, though I don't know that I can ever catch up.

I'll summarize and then go forward and make up as I get time.

-Alexys was baptized this summer.
-Justyn received the Aaronic priesthood.
-Zach advanced to the office of a teacher within the Aaronic priesthood (did I say that right?)
-Kathryn started Kindergarten this fall. She is at a different school than the other kids are. Actually a completely different school district so her days off are not the same as theirs. What's one more schedule to keep straight, right?
-Zach is in 8th grade.
-Justyn is in 6th grade.
-Shaelynne is in 4th grade.
-Alexys is in 2nd grade.
-Henry is home alone with me.
-I am taking another semester of classes this fall. (Only 15 credits this time)
-I got straight A's last semester (17 credits-WHOOT!!) but I'm not counting on that again since this semester I am taking College Algebra and Biology, two classes I am not so great at!
-Ken is out of narcotics and back on patrol working a 4 on/4 off rotation.
-We have been busy painting walls, putting up ceiling fans, and just about finished installing my new front door.
-I actually grew some things in my garden this year besides weeds and 5 corn stalks (last years attempt was so pathetic and sad that it wasn't worth blogging about). -This year we grew things, I just lacked the motivation to harvest it. Maybe next year will be the year I put it all together... ;)
-Our summer was spent in therapy!!! Henry in speech twice a week, development, and sensory; Justyn and Alexys both in speech.
-We got to attend my sister Chanae's wedding in February and Ken's brother's wedding in July.
-We had an awesome 2009 Brent Wilson family reunion (which I also planned-LOVE to party with my siblings and parents!)
-I wrecked my suburban this summer (Yes, my fault. DANG!) Then I got whip lash and had to go to the chiropractor and massage therapist weekly for two months. That was rough...or not!
-I had two nephews get baptized this summer (more excuses to get together with family!)
-I planted 30 shrubs and bushes around my yard this spring.
-I am teaching piano lessons again and I LOVE it!
-Zach tried out for and made it into the advanced dance and advance choir classes at his school. I am SOOO proud of him and can't wait to see him perform this year!
-Zach was also old enough to attend his first teen dance yesterday....and I "forgot" to tell him about it so he didn't go. He's just not ready...or I'm not ready...why do they have to keep growing up?!??!
-In my spare time I stare the the never-ending mountain of laundry on my couch and dishes in my sink! Thankfully Shaelynne loves to clean and keeps my sink empty and my counters washed off. I'm on my own with laundry though.
-Ken and I spent many mornings/evenings walking the Snake River Canyon this summer. I loved it. Lost no physical weight but shed a TON of mental and emotional baggage! As I hiked that canyon grade, I loved pushing through to the top (as if I had any other way out) and realizing that I really am stronger than I think and that I can do hard things and come out on top! (That's a great post for another time!)
-My kids get on the school bus at 6:40 in the morning so wake-up time is 5:15 around here. I recently learned that I really can get up that early and even semi- function. (Though I go right back to bed as soon as they are on the bus!)

Okay, that's a pretty long list. Evidence why I need to blog one thing at a time and not a massively boring long list once a year.
I'll do better, it's for my kids!

Sad Face

I was planning to return some borrowed dishes and since I hate to return them empty, I made a pan full of brownies to go with them.

My kids wanted to taste them so I cut off the edges of the brownies for them to eat.

When the edges were all eaten, the kids still wanted more. I told them the rest were to give away.

Kate sadly asked, "To who?"

I said, "To our friends to help make them happy."

Then I thought it might help make it easier to give them away if I involved the whole family in the project.

I told them that the recipe was called "Brownies for a crowd" so there were plenty to give away.

I asked, "Did you see anyone at church today that looked sad that maybe a plate full of brownies would help them feel better?"

Kate excitedly nodded her head yes.

I was thinking, "Wow, this is going to be a great lesson in service and compassion for others."

I asked her who she had seen that was sad that she thought we should give some brownies to.

She made her best "sad face" and said, "ME!"


Ken piped up and said, "And we're a crowd!"

The dishes that needed to be returned are still on my counter and the pan of brownies is now empty.

I guess it's a good thing that brownies are easy to make. :)

"The greatest gift I ever received came from God...my family."

and

"The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home." President Harold B. Lee

Decisions Determine Destiny

Yesterday the youth in our stake attended a youth encampment which was themed "Decisions Determine Destiny." My two older boys attended and have been talking about it since. They were priviliged to hear from our own Elder Nelson who is now a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy. He spoke to them about how their futures will be determined by the choices they make today. Zach and Justyn are in charge of our Sunday Evening Meeting and they will teach us more of what they learned. I love watching their testimonies grow.

Justyn passed the sacrament today for the second time but since I was in the hall with Henry last time, this was the first time I got to watch him. I was so proud of him...his young handsome body dressed in a white shirt and tie, looking so grown up and responsible, trying so hard to honor his priesthood and perform his newly called duties to perfection. Sensing his doubt and glimpsing his lack of confidence, I felt my emotions rise as I fought back my desire to reassure him and offer him guidance. Unable to help him, I just watched as he did his best and took cues from the other men also passing the sacrement. At the completion of the passing of the sacrament, he took his seat behind the bishop, this being his first week assigned as the bishop's messenger. I saw a look of relief cross over his face as he sunk into his cushioned chair. He glanced at me, I smiled at him, he smiled back and then sat a little taller, realizing that he had survived and that he had done a good job. Again my emotions welled up inside me as I felt his pride and watched his confidence grow. I love my mom job!!

The first speakers topic was on choices. I loved her talk. She explained that we are given our free agency to make our own choices but we are not free to choose the consequences. She then related it to a farmer planting crops. If a farmer plants peas, he cannot expect to harvest peaches. We sow what we reap. OUR DECISIONS DETERMINE OUR DESTINY!!!

Which led me to once again ponder a question that has weighed heavily on my mind the last several months. Okay, just about 2 years now. Who am I? and What am I supposed to do with my life? I understand that my decisions affect my future. Even bigger than that is the realization that my decisions affect the future of those around me also. So what goal am I working towards?

I always knew that I would grow up, get married, and have children. So, at the young age of ...gulp...34, I have gotten older, I did marry, and I had children. Now what? I've changed diapers for 14 years now, I've done thousands of loads of laundry, cleaned my house every day only to have it all undone before the day was over, kissed away a million tears, listened to childhood prayers, listened to endless hours of chattering and laughter, saved boxes full of drawings and love notes, and I have loved every minute of it.

I boxed up all my maternity clothes and handed them over to my younger sister last week and faced the reality that I would never be in the "maternity hand me down" rotation again. I gave my crib and baby items to the D.I., my changing table went in the garbage, and I boxed up the last of the under size 2 clothing sizes that came through the laundry, getting them ready to pass back to my sister. I am done folding tiny onesies and footed sleepers, baby blankets and spit towels. And while I know it's okay, I sometimes feel the sting of knowing I'm finished with that phase of my life.

So what's next on my to-do list? I've done the three big ones. Honestly, I fill like a fish out of water. I don't know what I'm working towards now. Oh yeah..., missions, graduations, marriages.

But my kids don't need me like they used to. I'm realizing that my role is changing and I find myself often watching from the bench, praying for their success, and sending them a smile and word of encouragement every chance I get. I'm just not sure I'm ready to let them go quite yet....don't they still need me?

Yes, I know they do...but my role is different now. I still have little ones that need my attention, and the cooking and cleaning will always be incomplete. I also know that no matter how old they get, there will still be tears that need kissed away, dreams to be listened to, accomplishments to applaud, hands to hold, sounds of chattering and laughter to be enjoyed as memories are created, and sometimes even a child curled up in my lap, offering a moment of escape and safety from the outside world.

So,Who am I? That's an easy one. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter of goodly parents, and I am a child of God!

And, What am I supposed to do with my life? I asked my Heavenly Father that question in prayer recently and my answer was "FOCUS ON ETERNITY while FINDING JOY IN THE JOURNEY!"

As I continue to "grow up", my understanding of how my decisions determine my destiny becomes so much clearer. I have so much to learn and so far to go to my goal of perfection and exaltation. For now, I can only take baby steps, focusing not only on the future that I can comprehend with my physical mind, but on eternity. And since I'm going, I might as well look for and create joy along the way. And I will follow the words of President Hinckley “try a little harder to be a little better” (Ensign, May 1995, 88).

So much to do, so much to learn, no time to waste.

I'm off to make dinner, do dishes, have our family meeting with my children, listen to prayers, clean up messes, wipe dirty faces, change another diaper, return dishes to my neighbors, take a walk with my husband, and undoubted a few other unexpected things before I finally think about going to bed myself, but I love who I am becoming and I love the way I chose to learn it.

I have six beautiful children, and a wonderful husband. My life is good!

Ouch

Yesterday we were planning to attend my nephews baptism in Utah. The plan was to run the kids over to the school to pick up their year book, fill the car up with gas, pick up some snacks, meet Ken around noon and get on the road as soon as possible.

I told Zeek to come with me and SissySue, KittyKat and Hank insisted on coming along as well. I told Jet and LuLu to lock the door behind me and that we'd be back in an hour. I instructed SissySue to buckle up KittyKat and Hank and we headed down the road.

It was raining and I was thinking through what I needed to do in order to be ready to leave in a couple hours. There was a garage sale and so there were cars and people parked along the side of the road. I'm not exactly sure what went wrong. I thought I was watching my driving. I had glanced at my speed and I was going exactly 45 mph, the posted speed limit. I had adjusted my wipers so my window was clear. I was not listening to the radio. I was not following any cars too closely, I don't even remember a car being in front of me. I was casually conversing with the kids, I was very aware of all the cars and people around me. I was not stressed or distracted.

Suddenly, there was a pick up directly in front of me, stopped and signalling to turn left. I screamed, hit my brakes, and swerved to avoid hitting him directly. We hit the back corner of his truck bed. I heard my car break! I watched as our impact on the truck lurched him into oncoming traffic. He quickly swerved and missed any other vehicles. Then my attention quickly was redirected to the fact that my car was still moving. The impact of the hit had NOT stopped us.

We were still moving forward. We were off the main road, driving down the side bank. I pushed on the brakes as hard as I could. Nothing. I pushed again. Still nothing. I looked down and noticed the brake was pushed all the way to the floor. It was broke. Okay, what's plan B?

I push on the emergency brake. Nothing. I double checked to see if I was pushing the right lever. It too was pushed all the way to the floor and we were not slowing down at all. I couldn't decided if my car was even still running. I pushed on the gas pedal, we lurched forward! Crap! That didn't help! But I did figure out that the engine was still running. I screamed, "I can't stop! Our brakes are broke!"

I began to quickly look around for something to hit that would stop our car without putting the kids or any other person into anymore danger. I couldn't see anything and we were quickly approaching another intersection and running out of safe bank on the side of the road.

I began to plead, "Heavenly Father, please help me stop this car!" Suddenly I heard Zeek say, "Mom, turn off the key." What? Again, "Mom, TURN OFF THE KEY NOW!!!" I did! We slowed down and safely came to a stop. It was all over that fast!

I checked the kids. They were all safe. I pushed on my door. It was jammed. I forced it open, climbed out, and told the kids to stay put. I crossed the road and walked back to the other vehicle. I asked the man if he was okay. He screamed at me and asked me if I had not seen him. I just shook me head. I had no idea what had just happened. I apologized and asked him if he had a cell phone to call the police with. He said no but that he was okay.

There was a third vehicle that was also stopped. A woman was standing next to that car. I asked her if she was hurt. She said no but that she had seen it all was not leaving until she had given her statement to the police. I thanked her for her thoughtfulness and asked her if she had a cell phone. She said she did but that the call had probably already been made to the police. I asked her to please call anyways. She handed her phone to me and said, "It's your wreck, you call it in!" I thanked her and called 911.

I told the dispatcher what had happened, gave our location, told her there were no injuries and both vehicles were off the road. I then asked her to call my husbands number and let him know that I had just been in a wreck and needed him to respond. I handed the phone back to the woman, looked at the debries from my car all over the road, and headed back to my car to check on my kids.

By the time I got to my car, I was sobbing! I was in shock! I told the kids to get out of the car and stand over next to the fence. None of the kids had jackets on, Hank was only wearing a t-shirt and diaper, KittyKat was missing shoes and it was raining. The car was making some leaking noises so I didn't dare let the kids back into the car.

The fire department showed up within a few minutes. They checked the car out and said it was not drivable (I sort of knew that) and that since the airbags had not deployed, the car was not in stable condition.

Ken pulled up about then and had to explain that he was married to me and not there to take the report.

City officers showed up shortly and Ken put the kids in the back of his car to get them out of the rain. A bonus to being married to a cop is that when you get in a wreck, the firemen and other officers are very nice to you! I filled out a statement, an officer took the boys home, my sub was towed, and Ken took me and the girls home.

The only injuries were Zeek hit his knee on the dash board of the car and has a slight bruise, SissySue has a mark from where the seatbelt tightened against her chest, and I have a small cut on my toe, probably from ramming my foot through the brakes! Not a mark can be found on the two little ones. I have some whiplash today and we are all whiped out! No one got out of bed before 10:30 this morning.

My mom asked Zeek how he knew to shut the car off. He told her that the night before he had been reading about car parts on the internet and had read that if your brakes don't work, either jump out of the car, or turn the engine off. He had decided that since jumping out might hurt, he should save that as a last resort and try turning off the engine first.

Zeek told me later, "It's so weird, Grandma is treating my like I'm a hero or something. I wasn't a hero. When you said the brakes didn't work, I just knew exactly what to do. I had read that exact information the night before. It wasn't really a big deal. I'm just glad it worked and we didn't have to jump!"

I'm reminded of a favorite primary song:

Through a still, small voice
The Spirit speaks to me,
To guide,
To save me,
From the evils I may see.

If I try to do what's right,
He will lead me through the night,
Direct me,
Protect me,
And give my soul his light.

Listen, listen
The Holy Ghost will whisper.
Listen, listen
To the still, small voice.
(CS 106)

I'm thankful for a Father in Heaven who heard my plea and sent an answer which allowed my teenage son to feel the powerful promptings of the still, small voice and be an instrument in His hands!

Definitely a Hero!

And neither of our testimonies will never be the same!

Caught!